Time for your weekly dose of our one-liners that will surely help you fake like you know football and get a conversation started. We also have a lot great tips under How to Fake It too so you are prepared to watch the games.
“Since so many folks hate teams with orange in their colors, what will they think about the all-orange Beaver uniforms? Anybody ever seen an orange beaver?”
“What is it about UGA and their players hitting the bong so much? Maybe if they weren’t playing stoned, they would have beaten Mizzou! Seriously, maybe Justin should have just claimed it to be medical marijuana due to his knee injury. These guys should play for Colorado!”
“Did you know that out of the 57 times FSU and Miami have played, there is only a 35 point difference in their total scores?”
“There are a lot of teams that started strong but have gone completely flat in the last several weeks.” [if they ask who, you can rattle off teams like Arkansas, Northwestern, Nevada and depending how this weekend goes you can add UCLA and Georgia to the list]
“Do you think Famous Jameis can do it AGAIN and can I just reiterate that he is amazing!?”
“There are 8 undefeated teams going into the weekend, how many do you think will come out on the other side?” Be sure to note that 1 won’t (Miami or FSU) and 2 will for sure since they are not playing (Alabama and Baylor).
“OMG, Lynch is a one-man wrecking crew at Northern Illinois. He is the 4th in rushing yards, <pause for effect> as a quarterback!!”
“Will this be the game the Heisman voters seriously consider Jameis Winston? If he pulls this off with a blow-out, he has got to be the front-runner.”
“With Baylor having the weekend off, who do you think is most likely to post a 70 point game this weekend? My money is on Northern Illinois.”