Football is full of great stories but the best are the little one-liners that people say while watching a game. These inspire us to write our own. A mixed bag of pithy sayings and interesting facts and great conversation starters. Look like you know a lot and impress the folks around you. Here are your football pickup lines for college football week 12 games.

“How many points do you think a steaming mad Duck can score against the Utes!”

“Seriously, what the Hell is a Ute anyway? All I can think of is the scene with Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny when he is talking about his ‘Yoot’s”

“It’s going to be hard in my house (for so many reasons) but I think we will be cheering hard for the Gators to take a bite out of the Cocks.”

“Will USC be a spoiler for the nerds of Stanford?” (in order to be up on the #nerds, watch this video. Great conversation starter too!)

“Both the Georgia teams are playing Tigers – the Yellow Jackets already flew home with their stinger between their legs, let’s hope the Bulldogs don’t suffer the same fate.”

“The Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry – Georgia Auburn – started in 1892 and is probably the most evenly matched rivalry in the country.”

For these lines, you need a backstory. First know this picture which is probably the best picture ever taken in college football. college football scheduleNow the guy in the picture is Robert Baker. He recently plead guilty on federal heroine trafficking and firearms charges. You can then throw out these little pithy sayings:

“Who knew Bulldogs were drug sniffing dogs? Maybe Baker was packing some heroine in his jock strap”

“And they think there is a culture problem with professional football players. I have no idea why?”


This will be fun to say just about every 5 minutes while watching football regardless of what the reality of the situation is...

“Hey, Baylor just scored again!”

“Duke is 7-2 this year! With such an odd change of events, maybe this is the year their basketball team goes 6-30”

“Any chance Florida State falls to the Cuse, is crushed by the Orange, or ….nah, I don’t think so!”

“Can Famous Jameis keep the off field distractions at bay during FSU’s game this weekend? Probably. I just hope that the kid with the great smile had nothing to do with any thing. It would be nice to back a great athlete and not have to ignore a bunch of off-field negatives.” (he is being investigated for potential involvement in a sexual assault.)

“Ohio State has got to be the luckiest undefeated team out there. Their undefeated record is about as impressive as Northern Illinois”

“It’s crazy to think the #24 team in the country can be ranked higher in their conference than the #12 team. I guess that’s the advantage of an out-of-conference loss.” (Talking about Texas and Oklahoma State)

” At the beginning of the season, you would have thought that Texas was going to be fall apart and fire their coach. Who knew?”

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