How to Fake It

Even if you don’t have a clue (yet) about the game of football, there are a few things you can say and do to fake like you know what you’re talking about.

We have broken it down for you into two major categories.

  1. If you are invited to watch a game live, or
  2. If you are watching the game on television.

What you will say and do in each of these situations is a bit different.

Also, we have given you ideas of what to say when your team is on offensive and defense, as these can be used no matter where you are watching the game!

How to Fake It – Watching the Game Live

  • Say “It would be great if we could tailgate before the game.” That will get your guy thinking you are into the whole aspect and tradition of the game. Be the super cool date who sets up the tailgate. Check out the Ultimate Football Party Planning Guide for great recipes.
  • Recommend getting food and drinks before the game starts to “make sure you don’t miss kickoff.”
  • Find out if there are any traditional songs or chants the fans of the team you are cheering for do at certain parts in the game. Learn them so you can participate. Lots of fans do a chant or cheer during kickoffs.
  • When your team scores or makes an interception, get on your feet to clap and cheer. If they score a touchdown, stay on your feet until they kick the extra point or go for two.
  • Don’t ask to leave early, even if it’s a blowout!
  • Wear your team’s colors, or at least not the opponents colors.
  • Leave your heels at home. Seriously. They are not necessary.
  • Don’t ask when the game will be over. There are 4 15-minute quarters, but the clock stops often. Plan on being at the stadium for about 3 1/2 hours.
  • Use the restroom during halftime, unless it’s an emergency. Remember you “don’t want to miss the game.” If you have to go, offer to get him food/drink so he doesn’t miss the game.
  • Bottom line, do what the rest of the fans are doing around you (unless they are acting like complete jerks, of course) even if it means giving a stranger a high-five or doing the wave. It’s not THAT bad.

How to Fake It – Watching the Game on TV

  • Don’t say “the commercials are better than the game.”
  • Cheer loudly when your team scores a touchdown or makes an interception.
  • If the ref calls a penalty against your team and people seem upset about it like it’s a bad call, say “Are you serious? That ref needs glasses”.
  • Don’t spend all your time chatting with other guests. If you HAVE to talk with someone, move away from the ‘football watching area’.
  • Getting up to reload on food or beverage? Ask if you can get anything for others so they don’t have to miss the game.
  • Be the ultimate cool chick and offer to throw a party for the big game! It’s simple and he’ll love it. Just follow the Guide!
  • Utilize some of the things to say provided below.

Faking It – Things to say/do when your team is on offense

  • Remember that they have 4 chances to get a first down or score. Getting a first down is a very good thing, so get excited if this happens. “First Down!”
  • When they score, cheer, shout, jump up and down or give someone a high-five.
  • If someone makes a good catch and starts running toward the end zone with no defenders in sight, get on your feet and scream, “GO! GO! GO!” or (with a slight pause between each word) say “HE-COULD-GO-ALL-THE-WAY!”
  • If the quarterback throws an interception, yell, “Are you kidding me? A defender was right there! What was he thinking?”
  • Late in the game and  your team has the ball and a lead of 7 points or less, speak softly and say “Hold onto that ball!!”
  • When kicking a field goal or point after attempt, always say, “Come on, right through the uprights!”

Faking it – What to say/do when your team is on defense

  • If they sack the quarterback (tackle him before he can throw a pass), cheer, jump up and down, fist bump, etc. You know the drill.
  • If they make an interception, get on your feet and clap/cheer. Lots of “Woo-Hoo’s” are appropriate here.
  • If they clearly aren’t blocking and allow a first down or touchdown, scream your derogatory words of choice!
  • If the other team seems close to scoring, the “Hold ’em Defense” line always works.
  • If the other team is kicking a point after attempt or field goal, always say “Block It!”

Check some of our great posts on football pickup lines too! Our posts are under Hot this Week for the most recent posts and you can also search by a category too.

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